


How to talk to your (sort of but not really?) imp boyfriend

by GeekGirlForLife



Category: Helluva Boss (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Post-Episode 2, Stolas is trying his best, talking about feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:21:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27985302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeekGirlForLife/pseuds/GeekGirlForLife
Summary: (SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 2 OF HELLUVA BOSS)After the incident at Loo Land, Stolas has some time to reflect and come to a conclusion. Things may be (at least for now) better with Octavia but there is one other person that he ought to have a serious talk with.That is...if he's willing to listen
Relationships: Blitzo/Stolas (Helluva Boss)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 418





	How to talk to your (sort of but not really?) imp boyfriend

Well.... _that_ day hadn't gone how he expected.

Well to be fair Stolas didn't exactly know what he was expecting. It was a spur of the moment idea, a way to reconnect with his beloved little owlet and maybe get some fun flirting in with his adorable little Blitzey while the imp made sure that they weren't accosted by anyone looking to do them harm. Instead he'd almost driven Octavia further away, Blitzo had a run in with that strange robot clown and they'd managed to burn down the entire amusement park.

Ironically enough that wasn't the worst day out he'd ever had. But it did give Stolas some food for thought.

Clearly he had been oblivious to the effect that his affair was having on Octavia, that much was obvious. The poor dear was convinced that Stolas would run off with Blitzo and leave her all alone. Of course Stolas would never _dream_ of leaving her..! But...it was easy to see why she'd come to such a conclusion. Stolas couldn't remember the last time he had a conversation with his wife that wasn't simply him dodging flying projectiles while she screeched at him. 

And of course there was the...constant flirty phone calls with Blitzo. But what was Stolas _suppposed_ to do?? Blitzo was just so much _fun_ to tease and flirt with unlike his wife whos normal response to his attempts at romantic gestures with a _"Get those talons off my shoulder, you horny bastard!"_

So safe to say he was a bit desperate when Blitzo and him came to The Arrangement. 

Still desperation was no excuse for neglecting to factor his paramours feelings into the equation. " _I think it's time that Blitzey and I had a serious talk."_ Stolas thought to himself as he pressed the picture of the imps face displayed on his phone screen and held it to his ear.

_"I only hope he'll allow me that..."_

* * *

_"We'll kill your husband and your wife, we'll even let you keep the knife! We're the immediate murder professionals..!"_

The jingle rang loudly out of the red phone lying on Blitzo's desk. With a groan the imp raised his head from its position lying on his arms to reach out and grab the phone. Sitting up he straightened his shoulders and plastered his best salesman smile on his face before he answered the phone.

"Hello you're through to I.M.P. You pick 'em and we shoot 'em!" 

_"God damn it we really gotta come up with a better opener then that."_ Blizto thought to himself in annoyance. 

_"Hello Blitzey? Have you a moment of your time by chance?"_

"Oh for the love of- look you paid for a simple bodyguard service Stolas! And I _already_ told you that I was not gonna let you talk me into some weird kinky shit _before_ the next time we have to-!"

" _Oh no no no it's not-that isn't-"_ There was a brief pause and the small sound of a sigh. _"Believe it or not I honestly just want to have a talk. A...serious talk."_

"Look Stolas I want to but I've got a full schedule right now. Some husband wants us to off his cheating wife, this wife wants us to off her cheating husband and both of them want me to off the pool guy they were both fucking-"

_"It's very important Blitzey-Blitzo....it's regarding our current..arrangement."_

Oh.

Oh _**shit.**_

This was it. Stolas was gonna take back the arrangement they had, take the book back, I.M.P would close its doors and everything that Blizto had built up was going to go to waste.

God **_fucking_** damn it why now?! They were _just_ starting to gain some traction down here! He had invested so much of his blood, sweat and tears into this business! 

Well...mostly his own blood, sweat and tears.

_"Blitzey are you still there?"_

Fuck he forgot he hadn't answered.

"Well uh...I guess if it's regarding that...yea I could make some time."

_"Excellent! Shall we say, an hour from now at that little cafe downtown?"_

"The one with those freaky bird-uh...I mean yea that sounds fine."

" _See you soon!"_

Blizto blinked as the line disconnected before he groaned thumping his head onto the desk. 

God. _**Fucking.**_ Damn it

* * *

Normally whenever Blitzo had to meet with Stolas, he would drag his feet as much as he could. More time it took to get there, the less time Stolas had to make his weird perverted comments. This time however he felt it would be best to arrive early.

Stolas was already sitting at a table, daintily sipping tea from a cup with his feathered legs crossed. He was dressed...actually surprisingly low key in a simple business suit.

Well guess it made sense. Wouldn't wanna draw attention to himself.

"Ahh good you're here!" Stolas crowed happily raising his cup in greeting. Blizto tensed instinctively waiting for the inevitable awkward and gropey hug that'd always follow greetings...and then blinked as Stolas did nothing except continue to sip his tea.

Huh. That was...different. On one hand Blitzo was grateful that for once he didn't have to worry about any feathered hands fondling his ass...but that didn't bode well for the rest of the conversation. Sitting down, Blitzo tried to appear relaxed (though he couldn't help his tail stiffening and curling around the back of his chair.)

"Care for something to drink? They do the most _wonderful_ tea here-!"

"Yea I'm not much of a tea drinker thanks.." Blitzo interjected. He leaned back in his chair folding his arms. 

"Sooooo what's this new arrangement thing we need to talk about?"

Stolas placed his cup delicately back in his saucer before sitting up.

"It has...come to my attention that I may have...gone a bit too far in regards to our...romantic interactions."

_Well that was just fucking-wait hang on what?_

"Which ones? The constant phone calls, the presents you keep sending me, that one letter that Moxxie accidentally read which mentioned something about you, me and a feather duster..-?"

Stolas waved a hand clearing his throat loudly.

"Yes yes i mean all of...all of those. Ahem...it occurs to me that I may have been a bit..selfish in my endeavors regarding you Blitzo. I say all these things and do all these things without taking into consideration how _you_ feel." 

Stolas sighed leaning back slightly in his chair.

"I used our Arrangement in order to enter this affair with you. I pretend hat your remarks and your constant attempts to rebuff me are all...a jest. A playing hard to get thing. I laugh and brush them off and continue as if nothing's wrong. I call you all the time making those...saucy remarks without ever considering how you're reacting to them."

Stolas's talons traced around the lip of his cup, his gaze reflected back in the brown liquid congealing at the bottom.

"The truth is...my wife and I...well I can't lie and say that we were a happy couple once and suddenly everything went wrong. The truth is there was no spark there from the beginning. It was all arranged you see, me being a Prince and her being from a relatively noble family. For the first few centuries...it was...well _alright_. We tolerated each other but there was never any kind of romantic attraction or even any kind of friendship. It was purely a business partnership."

Blitzo sat flabbergasted as he listened to all this. He didn't know what he was expecting when he came to this meeting but...well it wasn't this.

"Of course the one good thing that came out of this partnership was my darling Octavia. When she came along...well it was like a saving grace so to speak. It didn't magically fix things between my wife and I but...I had something new to focus on. But of course...that didn't last forever."

A bitter laugh escaped Stolas's beak.

"I don't know if you can truly imagine how lonely I was. But then....I met you. And suddenly it was...a whole new concept. Almost like a fun little game, a push and pull between the two of us. Anytime I flirted or sent you those messages I could always garner some reaction from you....though don't misunderstand. I'm fully aware that you're simply in it for the book."

Well...that was true. Even if it stung a little to hear it so bluntly said.

"I knew that because of that book...I wouldn't lose you. So I let myself go a bit...mad." Stolas finally looked back up to meet Blitzo's eyes.

"The whole incident at Loo Loo land made me realize...I owe you an apology. I may be a Prince of Hell but using that book as an excuse to continuously harass you and expect you to be at my beck and call all the time is...deplorable. Even for me. So I've come to a decision."

Welp. Here it was. Blitzo cringed internally wondering how he was going to break this news to the team.

"You may continue to use my book until I have need of it once per month. During that time all you have to do is return the book to me. You don't have to stay and the book will be promptly returned to you after I have finished with it."

...... _ **What.**_

"Wait..what?" Blitzo croaked out before clearing his throat "I-I don't...what's the catch? What do you want in return?"

Stolas smiled...a real smile not that pleased with himself smirk that Blitzo was accustomed to seeing

"To remain your friend. That's it. I still may call you sometimes but not for..that. Simply to talk. I understand that..well..I do care about you Blitzo. And as such I want to make sure you're comfortable."

**_The FUCK??_ **

"You..you know we're in Hell right Stolas? Not exactly the best place for uh..nice gestures?" Blitzo stated raising an eyebrow. Stolas let out a coo of amusement before he stood up.

"Yes well..times are changing my dear. Who knows? Perhaps things will change more in the future." With that Stolas walked away waving "Have a good day Blitzo!"

Blitzo sat stunned staring as the prince walked off.

Well.

That happened.

Well this..was great right? No strings attached..no more putting up with that pervert's constant texts and calls.....This was good! This was really...good..

Blitzo stood and walked in the opposite direction, digging his hands into his pockets.

" _It's good....but then.....why does it hurt so bad..?"_

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this!


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